Today is your birthday Grandad, so I wanted to send you a very special message. I would be on Skype today, waving to you, and showing you how I’d learnt to say ‘gangan’ and wishing you a Happy Birthday. You would make me giggle and my laughter would fill your house. They don’t have Skype in heaven, I wish they did, because I miss seeing your face Grandad. I really wish I could give you a birthday cuddle and lots of kisses.
You see, I know Grandad, that you never imagined mummy would be able to have me after she had been so poorly, but I was your best surprise EVER. I was your little miracle, and I know how much you love me. I see you crying, crying because I am not there anymore. Crying because you don’t understand why life was so cruel to me, and took me away from the bestest family I could have ever wished for. There won’t be anymore cuddles or photos or new memories. But I’m so glad that mummy took me on my only holiday, on an aeroplane, to come all the way to see you in Spain. I was a really good boy and it was the best holiday ever.
You were so excited to see me, and I was really excited to see you. I got to show you what a good boy I was and you now believed mummy when she told you that I never cried. You got up early in the mornings with me and had breakfast with me everyday. You took me in the swimming pool everyday, you swished me round and round and it was so much fun and when it was too hot to go outside you would sit and watch me play with your slippers. They were much more fun than toys. Especially when you wanted to wear them and I wanted to play with them. A good game, that I always won, because I’m cute. I miss your slippers Grandad.
No-one sticks apple stickers on my forehead anymore or puts doily’s on my head like you did Grandad. You were quite pleased with yourself, mummy thought it was funny, I pretended I didn’t like it, but I did really. We made our own fun, didn’t we.
Grandad I’m really sad that I didn’t get to make it over to spend Christmas with you, I was going to show you how clever I was at walking, how I’d learned to clap my hands and most of all how I gave the most amazing cuddles. Mummy would have let you look after me, but we both know that it would have been me looking after you. I would have been your little helper.
I really miss you Grandad, I miss us, and I miss what would have been. How special our relationship would have grown to be. You make me proud Grandad, and I tell everyone that you’re my Grandad and that I got the best. So, although I can’t be with you, I’d like to wish you a happy birthday, I miss you so so much and I love you lots and lots. Your little William xxxx
I never said I was leaving,
I never said goodbye,
I was gone before you knew it,
And only God knows why.
A million times you’ve needed me,
A million times you’ve cried,
If love alone could have saved me,
I never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still,
In my heart I hold a place,
That only you Grandad, can fill.